2024: That’s a wrap
Time to ring in the new year by having more surgery! You may recall me having my hip replaced in May (2023) and how it changed my life for the better… I got into fitness, big time, and have reached new heights in terms of capability, health, you name it. The sky finally became the limit - until I was taken out by a mysterious injury.
Rock radio announcer calls orthopaedic surgeons at The Ottawa Hospital the true rock stars, published October 2023.
It was a few days before we moved out of our Hintonburg house when I experienced a very intense, searing pain in my right ankle accompanied by swelling. I came home from work, sat down to take off my sneakers and BAM - I was out. I had to keep going though; we were moving. We have two kids who were about to be on summer break. I also work full time. ‘Not moving’ is not an option, no matter how much it hurts. This happened June 21st (2024). Some relief came within a few days when I felt (and saw) my tendons ‘pop’ and ‘snap’ near my ankle after forcing it to bend. It was later revealed through examination (by three doctors), ultrasound and MRI technology that I had some bony spurs growing along the back of my right ankle. They have likely been growing for decades but had become so large, they were now forcing my tendons out of place. The relief I felt came only after my tendons began to stretch to accomodate the new bones.
For someone who’s literally never been IN GREAT PHYSICAL SHAPE until this year, I can tell you that it friggin’ sucks falling OUT of shape. I had to change my routine from walking/weight bearing activities to doing a lot on the floor. The cool news is that I now have a pretty strong core - but the crappy news is that I am struggling due to this injury. To anyone reading this who has fallen out of shape; IT SUCKS SO MUCH both mentally and physically.
Per usual, though, there is hope. The light at the end of this tunnel is coming on January 9th; six months post injury, I will be having my bone spurs evicted (debridement) and right toe corrected (fused) at the Ottawa Hospital.
What went from a curious new ailment to ‘we know exactly what that is and how to deal with it” proves that we have world class doctors at home in Ottawa. I have been disabled since 1988 and have, over the years, been very lucky to have assembled a care-team of geniuses with heart. I don’t have surgery because I’m asking for it; I have surgery because my body will not function without it. Surgery is the last resort.
That said… 2025 is going to be brighter. I get to experience getting back into shape. What feels like a mountain to climb ris my focus. Falling out of shape for 6 months has inspired me to get back into it in 6 months, so let’s aim to catch up in June: a year post injury? Watch this blog space for progress reports.
You can also follow along on my instagram account. That’s where I’ll be sharing updates more frequently.
Reminder: I am not a fan of social media and I do not have a Facebook page/profile, nor any presence on Twitter/X. I am not very active on LinkedIn. Instagram remains the only spot where you can follow me: @amyvolume.
Dry feb: done & nearly dusted
Another year doing Dry Feb and I approached it the same as I typically do: with a ‘Let’s see if I can pull this off’ attitude. Well, these past few days I’ve been sick with a virus requiring medicine so I there is zero chance I’ll be drinking today - or tomorrow - or probably for the next several days/weeks. I’m considering that a win!
Did I have some drinks on Family Day Long Weekend? Yes. Of course!
The truth is (for me) that I enjoy social drinking and am in the best shape I have probably ever been in (in my life - thanks to this surgery you may have heard me talk about). This Dry Feb I challenged myself to stop drinking during the week and that, as it turns out, was pretty easy.
Every day is a good day to re-evaluate your dietary/life choices. Just as every day is a good day to check in with yourself physically and mentally. This initiative is predominantly to promote awareness and raise funds for the Canadian Cancer Society.
Over $50 million went towards cancer research through last year’s efforts. In addition to said research, funds also helped over 6,800 people get to their cancer related appointments through Wheels of Hope. To learn more about Dry Feb: Click Here.
That said, I have one day left in February and haven’t reached my fundraising goal. If you feel so inclined, you can donate (and get a tax receipt) by clicking the button below!
Thanks for reading & following my daily adventures.
The New Hip (x ray)
This is the thing I’ve been wanting for a few years - finally had installed in May - and have been in recovery for, ever since.
Recovery is a long road and will likely continue for a few more months. Visually, you can see how walking one way for nearly 40 years will take some “getting used to” in the aftermath!
Thanks to all who have been patient with me. Thanks to my coworkers who’ve had to take on additional stuff while I was away or maybe not firing on all cylinders.
Thanks to my moto social pals & the Ottawa riding community for allowing me to take five: i hope to be back with a killer event in July! STAY TUNED! 👀
At 37, I didn’t see this coming. When I was told I would require surgery, I figured it was a “down the road” thing. The arthritis pain was something I can’t accurately described but please read my blog(s) over the past few years for a basic idea. I’ve tried to document my journey to help others following the same path.
I really, really wish that I could be more public about this surgery and recovery online, however there is an account on Facebook posing as me. They screenshot my posts and captions here on Instagram and put them on Facebook in an attempt to make their scams seem more legit. Since going private, I have been able to slow down their efforts. Reporting them has done zero so I had to “go dark” (post in private).
Please share my story with anyone in your circle who may benefit. I wish I had more “young” people to talk to at various stages along my path so I would love to be that person to others.
Always keep going. Love your body & be kind to yourself.
Hip Surgery at 37 Years Old
My arthritic/dysplastic hip had a good run but now, it’s time to get an upgrade. At 37 years old, I’ve had a total hip replacement at the Ottawa Hospital (General) and this is my story from one week pre-op to the main event and recovery process. It’s updated regularly. Hoping to share my experience for others who find themselves on a similar path.
FOR THE LATEST UPDATES ON MY PROCEDURE AND RECOVERY, SCROLL DOWN.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 3
8:30 I’m killing time while waiting on a Zoom call from Anesthesia… I will 100% be late for my radio show today (which is on CHEZ 106, weekdays 9A to 2P).
This post will be updated, so bookmark and/or check back often for new content! NOTE: This is all my experience, in my words, from my life. I’ve just turned 37 and will be having a total hip replacement (total arthroplasty, microport, anterior approach) next Tuesday at the General.
CONTEXT: I have been living with seropositive rheumatoid arthritis since 1988 and my body is worn out. The pain is something I’ve written about before:
11:13 Phone call with the pre-admissions Nurse was great. The support staff involved in my upcoming have been a pleasure to deal with. Today I learned that drinking 3 mini-cans of Ginger Ale the night before & in the early morning the day of my surgery might help me heal! That would have been an interesting study to be a part of, eh?
It’s been a while since I’ve had a big operation, C-Sections aside. Sounds like many things have changed. Might be having a spinal block for the operation, which is comforting. I find GA and IVs the most anxiety inducing parts of any type of surgery.
19:35 I’m having trouble focusing on normal work related tasks when I’m not in the office/at the station. I’ve been really draggin’ in the productivity department. I had my routine bloodwork done for an apt. with my GP about non-hip related health concerns (my mouth/face rash situation) and just had more done this afternoon for pre-op reasons at the Civic hospital. Looks like my hemoglobin and neutrophils are Low (again) which is no surprise to me. Hopefully it won’t interfere with my operation.
Tomorrow I start Celebrex to help with pain and inflammation. I had to stop my Enbrel. Saturday I start Pregabalin.
I have also been calling my insurance company a lot to determine what rehab items are covered and how to file a proper claim.
Pre-hab apts are Monday after my radio show and have been ongoing for four weeks - I will obviously have to take some time off to heal before diving back in and rebuilding my strength.
My husband and I also had to settle two separate (and large) mortgage deals (which is a stressful privilege) and open the cottage early as I’ll be out of commission for our typical opening weekend (May 24). Our youngest has dance classes every week and our oldest has tests and a school play to prep for. The internet was out for a couple days because the squirrels ate through the lines, so that was an interesting trouble call.
I am tired. Very tired. I am physically tired and mentally drained.
I am committed to ‘showing up’ at work. I’ve been sick my whole life and I don’t like to let people down. I also don’t like to underperform because of my disease; it is not an excuse and I don’t ever want it to be.
Just having a very hard time staying focused which turns a five minute task into a 50 minute task, etc
THURSDAY, MAY 4
10:43 Received my second info package via e-mail regarding resources for post op care and rehab. 99% of the materials in this package are specifically for senior citizens. I am 37 and this stuff is mentally tough… Hard to focus on work and hosting a 5 hour radio show but there it is.
FRIDAY, MAY 5
19:46 Got to the station early this morning to accommodate an 8:30 phone apt. with a physiotherapist to go over any questions regarding post op restrictions and rehab. The call was very brief. Since my procedure is the anterior approach, I have only two movement restrictions immediately following surgery.
The six week recovery period is to ensure the bone grows around the metal, cementing it in place. Any overdoing it could result in dislocation (barf).
I will be able to use crutches afterall. I’d been told I needed to use a walker (the two wheel, two leg type). Due to my age and fitness level, crutches are preferred but, I’m learning, it kinda depends on who ya ask.
Tomorrow I start the pregabalin for anxiety and nerve pain. That means tonight is my last night to have a drink to “cheers” my busted hip. It has served me well.
If you are reading this, make sure you take some time to appreciate your body and all that it has done for you. Even if it hasn’t been all sunshine and roses.
MONDAY, MAY 8
10:39 Well this was a very pleasant surprise at work today. Hope you caught some of this on CHEZ 106 - also hope you like the Tragically Hip! :)
(My fellow DJs recorded ‘Get well soon’ audio bits which were peppered throughout my radio show today.)
11:53 So many nice messages of support coming through on the radio station text line. I feel the love today! Thank you Ottawa & beyond. I am constantly checking my Ottawa Hospital - My Chart website for any updates on the procedure and I now know the exact beast that will be my new hip… but does it come in black?
Total Hip Arthroplasy, taperloc complete hip system via Zimmer Biotmet US
TUESDAY, MAY 9
SURGERY DAY
9:05 Since I’m not on air today, I was able to walk my kids to school and watch my oldest sing O Canada with the school before they start their day. I might not be able to do that for a little while, so that was nice. I also received a call from the hospital on my way back home, asking if I could come in earlier due to a change in todays OR schedule.
I’ll be heading in soon! I hope I have the chance to update this blog in stages. But if it so happens that they see me right away and I can’t have my phone - so be it!
Yesterday afternoon, I was contacted by my surgeons office about three research studies I am a good candidate for. Naturally, I agreed to all three. I can’t stress how important it is to be a Lab Rat, if given the chance. I get to play a part in solving health problems and I think that’s so exciting. I agreed to go into the hospital earlier, as yesterday’s surgery time was 2:10PM… so I’ll be in even earlier per this latest phone call - I hope the research team is aware of the change because I believe this stuff is critically important. I’ve been sick for a long time and it’s my hope that future RA kids don’t have to experience the type of pain that I did and do.
I was able to assemble my crutches and get my ice machine going. I’m excited for today. I know it will be painful but the pain I had been living with (without cortisone) was eroding my quality of life.
I feel very blessed and privileged to be going into todays surgery with so much love and support.
I’m writing this from my elliptical machine because every minute counts! I will keep this page updated as I am able.
17:39 Operation was awesome. Success story, so far. In recovery now and it will be an intense few days. I’ll write more when i feel up to it.
Thx for the love and support.
20:26 On my way home now. Feeling good! Taking drugs as needed though (& following a schedule) to get me over the immense pain hump. I wanna stay on top of it because, sometimes, you can get to a point of no return when it comes to pain.
I have a weird sensation that my operated leg is WAY too long but I hear that’s normal. Man, I’ve been disabled for so long & my hip grew improperly that this new way of living is going to take some getting used to!
Thank you for all your well wishes and messages of support and love. I may or may not write you back, as I’m sure you’ll understand: I’m gonna be on DRUGS and a bit busy with recovery!
WEDNESDAY, MAY 10
DAY 1 POST OP
8:31 Yesterday went even better than I could have hoped. All staff were phenomenal and I’d like to give a special shoutout to my Daycare Nurse, Chantal. From start to finish, everyone was remarkable. Being surrounded by positive people aides in a patient’s overall wellbeing, I strongly believe that.
Where to begin… well, if you’ve been following this blog, you’ll know that I was called in extra early so that did throw off some of my research/lab rat duties. I kept telling everyone: “I’m in three studies! You need to make sure they know where to find me! I’m supposed to meet someone at Module X at 11:30!” etc. Even during my operation, I hollered, “Make sure research gets my bones! I promised them they could have them!”
The IV going in was no sweat, though it was one of the first things I asked to be removed after my procedure. Naturally, I had to keep it for a few hours until I met some criteria (walk and do some stairs).
Anesthesia was the very best. I had no issues with the spinal block and got a little woozy in the OR. Because I was awake during the procedure, I was able to voice my ‘woozy’ concerns and they fixed me right up. I swear to GOD I heard ‘Courage’ by the Tragically Hip playing for a while but I might have just been high as a kite. We will never know… haha.
The entire team were a bunch of beauties. It’s a bit jarring to be hoisted up and locked into this stirrups, reminiscent of ski boots. It’s also mildly jarring to hear the saws, drills and hammers but I felt no pain and I enjoyed shooting the breeze with my team.
The whole thing was estimated to take up to 90 minutes and wound up being closer to 45. Wild, eh? I was up and walking in no time, on crutches of course, and even did a small set of stairs. The good thing about being physically disabled for so long is that my good leg knows exactly what to do to help the bad one. It won’t be bad for long! I’ll get my strength back up soon. Today, though, I’m just letting it rest a bit and focusing on pain management and swelling.
I’ll be convalescing at my folks place for a few days and will do my best to keep you updated. I think it’s important to write about this experience as it’s not terribly common for someone my age (37) to go through a total hip replacement. I want to document my experiences to help others.
Ciao for now!
17:40 Oof - ass is being KICKED tonight. Nurse called me and explained that the second day (or today, which I consider the first) is typically the worst. The inner tissue feeling is coming back. As you might imagine, removing bone and hammering a pike into one’s femur doesn’t feel like sunshine and roses.
My focus right now is to control the swelling with my ice machine. I’ve set up a Google voice command to turn it on and off in 15 minute intervals. Have I told you lately how much I love smart home devices? If there is a disabled person in your world, I highly recommend helping them get set up with smart lights and voice commands.
I have a very mild fever and am definitely feeling the pain but I know it is all worth it. I’ll continue to exercise as I am able and increase intensity as I am able.
THURSDAY, MAY 11
DAY 2 POST OP
Ouch. OUCH. I’m taking it slow in terms of the exercises. Some are easy-breezy and others are like I’m a baby learning how to move again (while people poke me with hot knives). The pain is manageable and just a result of the operation itself. Muscle tissue and nerves are moved and sometimes cut (and stitched back together, of course), which causes a lot of pain when trying to do simple movements. My daycare nurse called me yesterday to ask how I was doing and she told me not to push through the pain with the exercises and to do what felt ok/didn’t cause pain.
I am wondering if this is normal and if other’s go through the feelings I’m feeling, like: Will I ever move normally again? Will my leg length be mismatched? When does the pain stop?
I have to remind myself that it’s only been two days. If you want to google the surgery, it was a Total Hip Arthroplasty, Anterior Approach… I accidentally googled it and WHOA MAMMA! You see that stuff and you think, “Ok, yeah, that’s gonna sting for a bit.”
This pain is normal and these questions will answer themselves in time. Not everyone has the same experience, either. We may have had the same procedure but not the same path to recovery and that is okay.
I did my prehab and was in good shape going into the operation, so I think I’m just struggling with the loss of muscle strength and ability I had built up prior to. I know I will be back and better than ever… again, we’re only at Day 2!
12:50 Feeling better & went for a walk outside. It’s very clear why doctors advise not to return to work/normal activity for 6 to 8 weeks. The joint feels good but I really don’t have any semblance of normal or even below average movement at this time. It’ll be six weeks for the bone to grow account the “ball and socket” pieces, cementing them in their permanent place. Any wrong move could jeopardize their (proper) placement.
I’m keeping the loopy drugs for nighttime but Tylenol, Celebrex and Pregabalin are my BFFs during the day. The Pregabalin makes me pretty drowsy - so I am doing my best to avoid making wacky or impulsive decisions (staying away from online shopping, haha).
Following my walk, I had some lunch and am going to use my ice machine for the next few hours; on 15 minutes, off 15 minutes.
19:06 Exercise 6 is killing me. I can’t easily slide my leg out and back in. It’s kinda freaking me out that I can do some of the more complicated tasks (which they ask you to do immediately post op/in hospital) but I can’t do this easier one which the physiotherapist assigned?
Ugh! Limitations are fine and I can accept that it will take a while because my muscles were stretched and some were cut. I will keep working at if. Tomorrow’s a new day!
FRIDAY, MAY 12
Day 3 post op
7:39 Had another good sleep but woke up in quite a bit of pain. I’ll try to get that under control without bungling up my medications. My drug schedule looks like this:
Some don’t play nicely together so I have to keep an eye on the clock and make sure everything gets taken in a spaced out manner.
I hope the Tylenol kicks in soon… ouch! I spoke with another new hip recipient about the tricks exercise and they told me that they were not advised to do that one until week two, so I’ve decided to give it a rest until it comes more naturally. I don’t want to do any harm to my new joint.
I have not been able to properly use the bathroom (if you catch my drift) since before my operation. I’m told this is a normal side effect from the opiates and have been taking something to help… it just hasn’t helped yet and my stomach is not happy about it.
All of the pain and inconvenience will be worth it, in the end. There is just no way to get to the end but to go through it. There are not Fast Forward options in life. As I go through this, I’ll do my best to keep you updated on my progress. Hopefully this blog will help others who have total hip replacements learn about recovery and what to expect. I realize that every body is different so I can only speak from my experience.
18:22 Thanks for following these updates. I feel it important to once again say that each body will experience surgery and recovery differently. I have a lot of hope and realize that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been avoiding taking the heavy duty pain meds but that is a mistake I have made before. I should know better. It has been explained to me by my GP that, due to my disease and drug history, I have a higher tolerance to pain meds. Essentially, I need stronger stuff to scratch the surface of said pain. I always try to go with regular strength stuff - but I’m going to try to remember to take the heavy stuff as needed. That’s what it’s there for. Even if it makes me a little more oogly-woogly than usual, haha.
SATURDAY, MAY 13
Day 4 post op
19:56 Oof. It’s not a walk in the park BUT today reminds me that it’s all going to get better. I need to slow down and TaKe ThE dRuGs.
I spooked myself by taking one of the BIG drugs close to another BIG(ish) drug and lost my vision for a minute (dizzy). So I’ve been really, really spacing them out which is difficult because I am legitimately prescribed a number of post op drugs that I need to take every day (some are wrapping up soon, thank goodness).
I’m walking outside with my crutches but not going very far at all. I am excelling with my exercises (almost pain free). By the time I see Dr. Beaule again (May 26), I should be in much better shape.
Sorry that i didn’t post much today. Ryan (my husband) and our kids came last night and are staying through the weekend. I had planned to go back to the city with them tomorrow but I think I might stay here til mid week. I’m not much help with the kids at this time. Very lucky to have the support I do.
22:16 Sharing WAY too much with this pre-bed update (no, I’m not on the BIG drugs yet, hahah): cannot properly “go to the bathroom” still. I’ve been eating normally and drinking Restoralax every day post op but - yeah… still working on that. It’s a side quest. If you have to take BIG drugs, have a plan for your bowels! Trust me.
SUNDAY, MAY 14
DAY 5 post op
Today I was able to remove my bandage. This scar is pretty intense so I’ll add it to this blog later as a link you have to CLICK ON to see (something I can’t do from my phone). I don’t wanna just embed it here… it’s something you have to WANT to see, haha.
Exercises are getting easier and more pain free. Movement still requires double crutches and will for a while. Operated leg still fees longer but I’m not as worried about that.
My arthritis pain is gone. The surgeon’s job is done! I can focus on healing and get back to enjoying life soon enough.
I’ll keep this page updated with anything noteworthy but, in the immortal words of Bryan Adams, “so far, so good.” (That was the title of his album containing the cancon banger, Summer of ‘69.)
Tuesday, May 16
Day 7 post op
10:09 Everything sucks and I’m dying! Ok - a bit dramatic… I’ve been waking up with very intense headaches for the past three days so yeah, that is the theme of the morning. By this time, I’m feeling much better. I think some things still suck, but I’m getting better matches my 10AM mood… haha.
The first week, post hip surgery has been an uphill battle (with one good leg). My left leg has been a hero and I imagine I look like the Hulk on one side and a skeleton on the right! It’s amazing what our bodies can go through and how they heal. I am very impressed and in awe of what will be a new lease on life with the arthritis pain now gone from my operated area.
But if I’m being honest: the first week sucked. It sucked, big time. If you’re heading into a total hip operation, in my experience - be prepared. Have a care plan. Don’t do exercises that really hurt (even if you’re told to start them right away). Listen to your body because it will tell you what is OK and what isn’t.
I’m walking better. My leg length situation is feeling better. I have less “stabbing nerve pain” when moving/putting weight on my new joint. I can now do all of the exercises (pictured above), mostly with ease.
Everything is getting better but it also is allowed to suck/hurt/be not okay.
In preparation for this surgery, many people told me: “You’ll be pain free!” Feel free to add “but not right after. Right after, it’s going to suck a lot” from me.
Again, this is ALL my opinion based on what I’m living. None of this pain has been permanent. I am in recovery and it’ll be one full week by 1pm today… what my body is doing (while still functioning with autoimmune sickness which will never cease) is truly remarkable.
THURSDAY, MAY 18
Day 9 post op
Feeling the pain in my scar/operated region. Healing happens from the outside in. While I look quite good - there is much healing to be done below the surface and it’s taking a lot from my, energy levels wise.
I have been contributing to work on a programming basis (started that on Monday). While I am not hosting my typical five hour solo, daily radio show, I am putting effort into helping create this weekend’s specialty playlists. This could be zapping my energy but I want to contribute what I can. If I can sit around all day watching TV, I can surely do some work?
My morning headaches are still happening. At least they go away by mid morning. I have finished much of my prescribed meds which allows me to take my pain medicine with less time-based restrictions (little victories!).
As promised: CLICK HERE to see my scar! Only click if you’re ready to see it though because once seen, it can’t be UNSEEN.
SATURDAY, MAY 20
Day 11 post op
I’m back in Ottawa & on air tonight (with CHEZ 106). I am still in Phase 1 of recovery mode which includes a lot of pain, swelling, meds & ice machine in 15 minute intervals (that’s what I’m wearing in the picture). I have very basic physio exercises, which are all now do-able and fairly pain free (not the case last week).
My next apt at the Hospital is Friday to see my surgeon for a progress report and have my stitches removed. If I can enter the next phase of recovery, I think I can resume my arthritis medicine (which will really help me feel 100%), get back to physio with my therapist (in person) and drop down to one crutch.
Hip surgery hurts more the younger you have it done. In my case, it was the only option and I will choose THIS recovery pain (& maybe a bit of a longer leg 😂) over the arthritis pain EVERY TIME.
While the recovery is a grind and the days feel long and exhausting (I’m waking up every four hours for meds) - it’s temporary. I will overcome this. I will heal. I almost cannot believe that I WILL be pain free in my hip. It just doesn’t compute in my brain as a reality right now.
Thanks for your positive notes! I hope you have a great long weekend - do something nice for your body. :)
Friday, May 26
Day 17 post op
Just returned from having my staples removed. Wound healed up very well. I have a bit of suspected fluid buildup when I engage in activity towards the lower part of my scar but it goes away when I give it a rest and should go away over time. It’s not leaking and my leg looks great!
The surgeon who saw me today was in on my operation. It was nice to be able to see the Dr’s face as when I’m in the OR I don’t have contacts in or glasses on so everyone is always a blur but I recognized his voice. He told me that my XRays looked good and encouraged me to get back into physio ASAP and that it was safe to reacquaint myself with the elliptical machine. I haven’t worked out since right before my operation so I’m pretty stoked to start that up again.
The reason I am having a rough time physically and with pain management is because three muscles were interfered with (cut, stretched and/or moved). My hip has never formed properly, so I was walking my entire life in an abnormal way. Now I need to adapt and strengthen these muscles and tendons to allow me to learn how to walk with a healthy hip. Also have to be mindful that my left hip has formed in the same abnormal way, it just was not as bad as my right. The writing is on the wall for my left hip, but I won’t pursue surgery until my quality of life suffers (like what happened with ol’ righty over here).
My leg feeling longer than my non-op leg is also very normal and a feeling that will probably go away once I tighten up the muscles. Doc says I can drop the crutches as soon as I am comfortable with walking/balance. I think I’ll return to the radio station (I’ve been back on air since Day 11 post op) once my crutches are no longer necessary. Hopefully it’ll only be another week or so. I’m going to let physio make that call.
In other words: I’m healing well and am rather unremarkable, which (in medicine, I think) is a good thing. My next apt. and next blog update comes at the end of June, four weeks from today. Stay tuned.
An Update on my Troublesome Hip
Today is the six week anniversary of my (cortisone) hip injection. Dr. Jessica Curran at the Carleton Sport Medicine Clinic walked me through the process and was very pleasant, even though I was pretty tense. Dr. Curran went over my X-rays with me and told me what to expect and I told her that I was probably going to exercise my fight or flight response by laughing. Whenever I’m in pain or nervous, I laugh. It’s a good thing to warn your doctor about if you experience this type of response, too, I’ve learned. The needle to numb the area (lidocaine) was a bit of a pinch, then I started to sweat and chose to ignore the ultrasound screen which the doctor used to guide the needle directly into my hip joint (which entered through my thigh). I hate veins. I get nervous with deep, probing needles even though I’ve had a lot of them.
The whole thing was over in a flash and I couldn’t believe it. I was allowed to stay in the room until my wooziness subsided (less than 10 mins.) and when it came time to walk out, I couldn’t believe how my legs felt: no pain. No pain at all and because I wasn’t in any pain, I didn’t have to limp.
The thing about limping, in my case, is that I do it innately to avoid my hip giving out and to accommodate the pain that I have been living with for the last seven or eight years.
I had previously tried to treat this pain with regular chiro/acupuncture appointments during pregnancy. My chiropractor and I were both under the impression that the source of the pain was my SI joint. This pain often flares during pregnancy. Long story short: it was my hip. My SI joint is fine.
Now, the no pain thing in this instance was thanks to the lidocaine, or as I like to call it (because I’m hilarious), “bone cocaine”.
I walked from the clinic to my motorcycle without limping. Well, I probably still walked with a limp but I really focused on my gate and tried to walk in a “normal” fashion, just to see if I could. It was incredible! Of course, an hour later when the numbing agent wore off, I regretted that. I felt pretty awful and went to bed early.
I didn’t sleep a lot that night. I was very worried that maybe the cortisone wouldn’t work. This hip injection is a precursor to my total hip replacement surgery which I am now in the cue for, for sure this time! The surgeon and I filled the paperwork out together on September 7th. Before my surgeon sent me on my way, he said he’d arrange for this hip injection and cautioned: “If the injection relieves your pain, the hip surgery will be a success. If it doesn’t, we need to find the source of the pain.”
All signs pointed to the hip… so why did I feel like garbage once the lidocaine wore off? I couldn’t fall asleep because I was scared that the cortisone wasn’t going to work. It can take a couple days to kick in, but I have been in such intense pain, constantly, without relief, for nearly 10 years (in my right hip. My RA is also terrible but it comes and goes in terms of how debilitating it can be).
More and more, I read stories about disabled people who choose assisted death because they aren’t really living. They are worn out from the pain. While I don’t see that as an option for me at this time, the prospect of not getting relief from this pain or losing my ability to walk and having hope of meaningful medical intervention and recovery slip away really spooked me. I’m only 36 and I’m more able bodied now than I’ve ever been thanks to my medical team and drug therapies. I have a full time job that I enjoy doing, own a house and a cottage with my husband and we’ve got two awesome, healthy children. I can’t give up hope, you know?
Somehow amidst all of those worrisome thoughts, I was able to fall asleep*, and when I woke up, my pain was gone.
The thing about me is that my lived medical experiences have taught me to never be anything more than “cautiously optimistic”. Surely it’s too soon for the cortisone to be working? Now, I’ve had many cortisone shots back in my CHEO days. They used to put me to sleep to do them because they would inject all of my problem joints in one go. I figured my folks might remember if cortisone was always this immediately effective (providing relief within 24 hours) and, sure enough, my mom tells me, “Amy, you were always like that.”
Be optimistic. Be scared. Be willing to go the distance and be ready to accept limitations. When the time comes to embrace relief, in its many forms: be whatever that is, too.
*The pain I experience is so bad that I do not sleep very well at the best of times. Laying down hurts. I’ve been living like this for at least seven years. The pain creates its own form of fatigue due to my body constantly fighting to “keep going”. Then I have the regular fatigue of someone who can’t get any quality sleep.