Today we received Elvis' ashes from the Emergency Vet Clinic. It's so weird driving there and entering a place like that without the accompaniment of a pet. I always wondered who'd go to a 24/h Animal Hospital - until OUR time came to really appreciate those late night services.
I had a dream a couple of nights ago about Elvis. I dreamed that I pursued other options, opposed to euthanization. We were going to see a special cardiologist and try other medicines. I was so sad when I woke up & realized that "seeking further treatment" was not an option in the real world.
That feeling of sadness and anger stuck with me for a couple of hours... Regretting my decision and considering all the "what if" scenarios. Eventually, my wandering mind was able to get back into perspective the truth that lead to my decision: Elvis had a dangerous, fatal heart condition that was causing him to suffocate and drown internally. When I brought him in that final time, his gums were white - indicating he was not able to oxygenate. He had been coughing and struggling for an hour. I held him outside in the cool air and rubbed his back. He was whimpering and would not rouse for treats. Best case scenario given to us by our Vet a few days prior to this final attack was 6 months to a year before he would die from heart failure.
He was an old boy with multiple forces working against him. He was treated very well in our time together and I don't regret a thing. I wish we had more time - but he is gone. The time will come for all of us, and it gives me comfort knowing that in death, we will be together once again.
His ashes will be spread at my parents house in Cobden and up at the family cottage. Though he has physically gone, he will be forever with us in our hearts and spirits.